Re-worked scripts

So I've been writing a lot of scripts so that they are ready to be tested and filmed ASAP. I have made a few changed to 'Pizza & Sex' and completely re-written 'Window Shopping'. I feel that currently these are the two stand out parts of my project. 
I've put the into camera work to rest for a month or so because I feel getting these parts done is more important and will take longer than the post production work.

'Pizza & Sex 2'

• A man and a woman (Jamie and Mia) sit in a cafe. They are sort of on a date, you can tell she is really into him by her facial expression, they way she speaks and her body language, he seems into her but is overly cocky.
  
• Jamie “So what you up to tomorrow night?”
  
• Mia (smiling shyly at him, excited to be asked) “Not much, probably just, you know, chillin' I think...”
  
• Jamie “Chillin? Why don't you come to mine?”
  
• Mia (her smile is more obvious now) “Yeah? That'd be cool”
  
• Jamie (as he speaks Mia smiles more – flirty eyes) “Yeah, you can come to my house, we can rent a movie...
  
• “I'll make you cum super hard... (as he says this Mia's face drops, she appears to stop listening to what he's saying, rather she is thinking of ways to escape, her smile has completely vanished and Jamie keeps talking, not noticing the change in her at all) I'll even let you choose what pizza topping we get you know, the works, mushrooms, peppers, olives, sweetcorn, all that shit, anything you want...”
  
• Jamie is now beaming, chewing gum, feeling very confident. Mia (sarcastic) “Oh...wow..” that sounds... ummm brill that would be... lovely...”
  
• Jamie “I know”
  
• Mia “The thing is, umm... I'm uhhh... yeah I'm actually a raw food umm vegan!”
  
• Jamie “Really?!”
  
• Mia “uuhhh yeah, so you know..”
  
• Jamie (speaking over her) “Well I can not cook it if you like...”
  
• Mia “Really? That would....”
  
• Jamie “Raw style you know” (acting cheeky) Mia stares at him like WTF Jamie “yeeaahhh”
  
• Jamie bites his lover lip and eyes her up and down while Mia scrambles for more excuses
  
• Mia (Looking through her phone) “Yeah but also you know, I've ummm I've got loads of things on I'm actually really busy... And now my phone's ringing I've... I've got to take this, sorry HI GRANDMA! HI Yeah....”
  
• Jamie is still smiling
  
• Mia covers mouth piece “I've gotta... umm yeah it was so good to see you...”
  
• Jamie “Yeah I'll bet it was..."
• As he says this another guy comes over, they high-5 and the they both say LIKE (does this work? Test it)
• Mia (now with a big fake smile) “Yeah I'll see you later bye!”
• Jamie “yeah bye...” He sits back in his seat, chewing gum and sips a drink...

I wanted to add more Facebook references, so have added a guy coming over and 'liking' what jamie has said, but I will have to test whether it works or not.

Window Shopping (script 2)

Charlotte is looking through a rail of clothes with a sign attached that says “Ebay”.

• Carlos and Megan walk over to her, Carlos is pulling Megan by her hand. Megan has large headphones on with Spotify on the side. She is engaged in her music and not paying attention to Carlos and Charlotte.
  
• Carlos looks at Charlotte who is looking into the rail of clothes. Whispering “Hey Charlotte”
  
• he looks back to make sure Megan isn't listening, she is bobbing her head to music “You look gorgeous!” he winks at her.
  
• Charlotte looks up, she is uninterested “uuuhhh.... thanks? Aren't you Megan's B.F?” (pronounced as letters)
  
• Megan turns around to face Charlotte, she lifts one ear phone up “Uh, yeah he is” she puts the earphone back on and turns around.
  
• Carlos looks a bit shaken but quickly tries to reassert his masculinity “Yeah, I am. But there's nothing wrong with a bit of window shopping is there? Semi-colon close bracket” He winks and smiles at her.
  
• Charlotte looks at him, still no real emotion in her face. She shrugs and goes back to looking through clothes.
  
• Carlos “and with a body..” Charlotte suddenly disappears “CHARLOTTE IS OFFLINE” “...can you blame....oh”
  
• He turns back to Megan “Hey babe, you wanna...” Megan disappears “MEGAN IS OFFLINE”
  
• Carlos is alone “oh... ok..."
  

Fade out to black.

I wanted to try and focus on language a bit more in this version of the script with 'semi-colon close bracket' instead of a wink, and make online activities a reality, so by having Charlotte shopping on Ebay and Megan listening to music I think this works well.